Due to the encouragement received (thank you Kissa for your comment on my last post!) I am going to tell you all a tale of a slightly better battle than last time! Huzzah!

Many players believe that in combat, having a bigger ship means you win. This, as I am about to demonstrate through the incontrovertible truth of "Me saying it", is not the case. I have recently begun to grow a little tired of my can-flipping activities - miners are a spirited bunch, but aren't always equipped to provide a stimulating battle - and so have found a new way to curb my blood-lust. I need only three things: A scan ship with probes, a cruiser, and the ability to stop myself hitting the "Warp" button when I enter structure. The last of those was absolutely vital in this encounter...

My weapon of choice - the Amarr arbitrator. I am a drone specialist, and so probably should have trained for Gallente, but the Amarr vessels looked so pretty and shiny, how could I resist? Anyway, enough of my rambling - on to the method! Firstly, I use the scan-ship to scan down a mission runner in one of the major level 4 mission hubs (But which one? Ah, you shall never know! Unless I tell you later). I then proceed to it at warp in my arbitrator, appraise myself of my target, judge his viability for pew-pew, and then...steal his "ultra-valuable" mission loot. It's usually something like a cap booster 800.

At this point, the following thoughts tend to cross the mind of the target. Either 1) Hey, that guy's in a cruiser stealing from a battleship? Something's going on here...I'm not rising to it. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the sensible option, which I implore you all to take if I ever show up in your mission. Alternatively, the mark could think 2) Hey, what does this guy think he's doing, stealing my cap boosters? I shall show him my 1337 pew-pew skillz! I must be able to win easily, because I'm in a battleship!

Unfortunately for my victim in this story, they thought 2) was the best answer to their problem. I had scanned myself down an Abaddon! I like Amarr battleships - because I armor tank, I have pretty nice EM resistances, and that's pretty much all lasers do. This particular Abaddon was fighting Guristas - so naturally, I gave them every chance by taking Explosive drones that they were weak to. Aren't I lovely?

As soon as I went flashy red, I saw myself being targeted. Wonderful...now let's see if that plate holds up. I almost forgot to turn on my damage control II, but was rather glad I did...the first volley cut my armor down to 40%! At this point, I seriously considered running like a frightened child. I then weighed up the options: 1) 2 more shots like that and I'm toast. 2) I'm 15km away from this guy. Most likely using beams. Probably inside multifrequency optimal. 3) My afterburner means I can close rather quickly... 4) Oooh, I have tracking disruptors! *pokes activation button*.

Unfortunately, that wasn't quite enough...another shot slammed into my hull, setting alarms off across the ship. Tactical readouts showed my armor vanish, and my hull plummet to 14%! My ship was on fire, and the metaphorical space-rats were abandoning ship. Oh dear...well, no time to align and warp now!

I hit the warp disruptor and the armor repper, waiting for the next shot. After the cycle time of about 9.2 seconds, it came. White-hot energy lanced out of the Abaddon's guns, scything towards my stricken cruiser, and...missed. My tracking disruptors had done their work, and I was now within 2km of the ship. There was nothing it could do to hit me!

I surveyed my arsenal - now I had all the time in the world. There were no members of my victims corps in channel, so I could do this calmly. With 14% hull, I couldn't make any mistakes...especially not with my orbital velocity. It was then that I noticed a cloud of drones spewing forth from the Abaddon...the Hornet I's of imminent doom! Launching my own light drones (tech 2), I made short work of them and the vespa I's that followed. Now I had truly eliminated all threats, and I recalled my light drones and threw my medium drones upon the battleship.

Slowly, my drones pecked away at the armor of the mighty vessel. After 15 minutes, there were still none of the pilot's corpies in local - and now they couldn't touch me anyway, as the aggression timer was over. Yay. Still, I had about half of this guy's armor to go. It was at this point that I remembered that I had neuts fitted.

Feeling like an idiot, I threw my tech 2 neuts onto the ship as well. The armor started dropping rapidly now - obviously his repper couldn't function without cap. My capacitor needed careful management too, but I had the advantage of a Nosferatu as well.

A further 2 minutes of this treatment and I had armor down to a tiny sliver. I toyed with the idea of seeing it explode so I could have a nice, shiny, Abaddon killmail to polish, but I remembered my lessons that I learned on EVE - Pirate...Real pirates ransom. Unless its a war target. Opening a conversation, I am treated to a lovely, polite opening line from my victim..."Wtf?". Granted, I have just committed a random act of violence against them and their shiny ship. I start with my customary "Hello sir, you appear to be in a spot of pirate - related difficulty. Shall we agree a price to rectify this situation?". My victim is quite co-operative, and pays me a cool 35 million for the safe release of their ship. Honoring the ransom, I de-activate my scrambler and watch the battleship limp towards the nearest station. Now to get the holes in my damn ship fixed...

I had thought that the end of the story would lie there, but no! My CEO received an EVE-mail from my victim, which he forwarded to me (After he had stopped laughing at my new escapades). Here it is, readers - the message itself. Bear in mind that the character I attacked was 2 months older than my own.

"Being a chick and new to this game I just have to say something. I just want to tell you its really crappy what your corp member did to me. I understand your corp likes pvp and Im a 'carebear' but II havent learned enough in this game so its my choice. Its one thing to pvp its another thing to come into someones mission who is minding there own business almost kll them and ransom them I dont think thats fair play. Personally I think its fucked up. And I am sure this is falling on deaf ears since youzmay condone this action but I feel I had to say my peace. And this is definately not directed to you personally but someday I will get a grasp on this game and get my shit together (as long as people like your mate dont jack me) and what goes around comes around."

No spellcheckers were harmed (or used) in the creation of this EVEmail. By the way, I really look forward to the time they do come after me and "What goes around comes around". I could use a fight!

Until next time I manage to find something interesting in my Inbox, this is me, signing off. Fly safe - but not too safe!