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Continue Reading Warheads
Continue Reading Welcome aboard
Posted by Damien 1 in
Saturday, September 4. 2010
I’ve been in one of the most ruthless pirate corporations and alliances in eve and I have come to tell of one of the most hilarious pirating stories I can remember, because everyone loves a good laugh.
Our whole alliance existed in one low sec system that bordered a busy high sec area. Anything that came into the system that wasn’t blue died and most residents of the area steered clear of the system.
This fine evening I was waiting at a perch in my Megathron with some mates and ready to pounce on anything that came to the gate. Randomly, I got a convo from a neutral in system I had never met. Some pilots had been trying to locate him for about 15 minutes but he was nowhere to be found. I am not sure why he convoed me out of everyone in system… but I prefer to think it was fate.
Me - “How can I help you?”
Him -”I need some help”
Me - “Sure man, what can I do for you”
Him - “Well I am having trouble with this mission and I could really use some help. These ships are really kicking my butt.”
I’m thinking this guy can’t be serious. He comes into our system, a low sec system known for its pirate presence, to run a mission and then convo’s someone with a negative 8 security status to get help with it? I’m thinking this has to be Christmas.
Me - “Well what level mission is it and what are you flying so I know what to bring. Should I be tanked for sansha or guristas?”
Him - “It’s a level 4 and I’m in my raven. Its just my regular tank. I don’t know what you mean.”
Me - “Hold on a minute, let me grab my ship.”
He actually told me what he was flying and I confirmed it by d-scan. All the intel I could ever hope for. I get on voice coms and I tell everyone in system whats going on. We all meet at the perch and I tell everyone to hold and not say anything in local. After all, we were hoping it was a trap.
Me - “Well I’m ready. Why don’t you join our fleet so I can warp to you.”
Him - “Join your fleet? Ok sure”
HAHAHA! He actually joined the fleet with my entire alliance in it! We all warped to the mission gate and warped into the mission grid at the same time. He was 50k from the warp in point and he freaked out when he saw all the ships we brought and immediately warped off. Aww, crap. I tell everyone to start shooting the rats and stay at the warp in.
Me - “Where did you go? We all came in to help you with your mission? Come back dude we need your help with this. We are taking a lot of damage and some of us have to warp out.”
Him - “Sorry, I saw a bunch of flashy red guys and I ran. I’ll come back.”
Me - “Hurry up we need your help.”
Him – “I’m coming.”
I told everyone in voice coms he was coming back and they kept pretending to help with the mission. He warped back in. He was immediately tackled and my alliance opened fire. I shouted in local “Hey guys what are you doing?” (pause) “No don’t shoot him he is the friendly we are helping! Shoot the rats not him!” Meanwhile we are all laughing so hard in voice coms we can barely breathe. Tears streaming down my face I am laughing so hard. His ship pops fast under the hail storm of dps and he warps out of system in his pod. The walk of shame.
Him - “What the hell man?? You blew me up?”
Me - “Im so sorry dude it was a mistake. I didn’t shoot you at all, check your killmail. They thought you were neutral and panicked. Bunch of morons. I told them not to shoot you. I can’t believe I asked them to help. They killed most of the ships in this mission for you though. I can help you finish your mission if you want. I won’t ask for their help this time. I just thought they would get it done faster. Do you have any other ships?”
Him – “Its ok man I understand I guess. Yea I have a brutix I just bought in Dodixie and I need to fit it. Let me go get it.”
Im thinking, he cant be serious can he? Is he really going to go get another ship for us to kill? All my alliance mates let the GCC wear off and they go wait on gate. About 20 minutes pass go by and I hear a roar of laughter in voice coms.
Him – “They blew me up.”
Me – “Huh?”
Him –“They just blew up my brutix when I jumped into system”
Me – “You gotta be kidding me. I told them you were coming and not to shoot you. I am so sorry dude. I should have linked your name and stuff. They just said they didn’t realize it was you. What a bunch of idiots. We have had a lot of ships come through here in the last few minutes and they thought you were with them.”
Him – “I thought you told them not to shoot me.”
Me – “I did I swear! Do you still want to finish this mission? I can’t do it alone.”
Him – “I guess. The only ship I have left is my merlin and I don’t have any money left. Fitting that brutix was all I had”
Me – “That merlin should be enough.”
Sure enough he comes back into system and gets insta-popped on gate by everyone waiting for him, haha. This was back when there were only one size of rig and they were expensive as hell. We found out when we posted the killmail that he had rigged his frigate and it was worth 20-30 million isk, lol!
He finally realized he had been had.
Me – “What did you learn? Never trust a pirate.”
We blew up every last asset he had and he kept coming back again and again. Stupidity is the only constant in the eve universe and my ship is fueled by carebear tears. The odd thing is I didn’t get on any of the killmails because if I had, he wouldn’t have believed I was on his side. It was still some of the most fun I’ve had in the game and one of my finest displays of my talent as a scammer. I did take the time afterward to tell him every stupid mistake he had made and try to make sure he learned his lesson well. I normally don’t do that but I thought after all he had lost, he should walk away with something priceless – how to make sure it never happens again.
I am not with that corp anymore, but I have to admit I will always miss it.
i head out to my scan spot to start looking through the belts. i can see them on 360 but cannot seem to find anything on 5. so i decide to sit in a belt and wait. nothing comes. i grow bored and tired and make one last attempt at 5 degree scans and i get a hit, a punisher on planet 6! this is too good to pass up and will be easy for me to pop if i can get a lock on him before he bolts. i warp into to planet 6 area at 0 and viola, there he is and ready to fight.
Continue Reading Gank gone wrong...
So this is my first entry on eve-pirate and one of my first few times
at pirating. Forgive me if this is badly written or not too awfully
interesting, hopefully with time and a little more experience in both
areas it will get better .....
Our story begins in Horkkisen, a dead end system right beside Eitu and
Erila. Horkkisen is a low sec system (.4) so most of the time if we
pirate we do it in the belts or at the plex gate for fear of being
ripped to shreds by sentry guns, that is unless someone decides to
aggress us first on gate. Anyhow, a few friends of mine finally found
the time to meet and play between work, which in our case is just
short of a miracle. We had devised what we thought would be a pretty
good pirating plan, scan someone down, warp in, point, and kill until
we could ask for a ransom. (I am going to use real names in this story
as i don't think there were any hard feelings between any of us) Robhe
was flying his newly acquired vengeance, an Amarrian assualt frig,
which is great for tank and tackle but not so hot on dps. I was also
flying an Amarr AF, the retribution which is an absolutely amazing
tank and dps dealer but sadly is gimped with only one mid slot so
basically robhe tackled and i (kalebhuff) dealt dps. We also had a
third memeber of our party, Laroqu, who was a fair nooblet still
within his 14 day free trial. We had him in a punisher and he was set
up to basically, as much as i hated to say it, be our "bait." He would
sit in a belt, pretend he was ratting and when someone aggressed he
would throw down a point and hopefully we could make it in before he
got popped . As soon as we landed in horkk I popped open the scanner
and had a quick look, we had a brutix and caracal on scan. First we
split up. I would check the plex gate and robhe and laroqu would start
on opposite ends of the belts and work their way inward. As fate would
have it laroqu found both the caracal and brutix working together
ratting in one of the last belts...muahahahahahah!!! I got ready, and
warped in on laroqu, robhe and I landed at about the same time.
Immediately the brutix set in on me and unleashed his drones (tech 1 hammerheads i believe..shoulda had t2).
He honestly wasnt doing too much damage because we were speed tanking and repping just fine, even laroqu in his t1 punisher.
After about 5 minutes he went pop...WOOOO! Our first kill! Then we moved onto the caracal, for some reason he hadn't warped off, call it loyalty or just not thinking, he was there. So we sent laroqu after him to pin him down. Here is where the story takes an interesting turn...after we had him pinned, one of my corp mates Kardea, warped in to give us a little back up. However he didnt realize that laroqu was friendly and had not been invited into the corp yet. He finished of the caracal in a matter of seconds, and then...proceeded to aggress laroqu. Immediately i start slamming the private chat we had been in "LAROQU IS FRIENDLY! STOP SHOOTING HIM!" It took Kardea about 5 seconds to pop laroqu and then he preceeded to traget his pod. Again I slam private chat, then slam local "LAROQU FRIENDLY!!!!!" All the while laroqu remains silent on coms, quietly accepting his fate. After he was killed Kardea apologized and laroqu wasnt upset, as his setup was easily replaceable. I am actually going to include a text message sent to my wife from his mom quoting laroqu while the whole thing went down, it was actually pretty funny to see how non gaming women view the game....
(Laroqu (Andy's) mom to my wife) So Andy is sitting over here going
"We've got someone in the system!!!!!
we've got someone in the system!!! Oh cardao is helping us.
I think Cardao is killing me.
Cardao is about to pop me
he already blew my ship up.
I got potted..."
I had decided to put the missions to the side for the night and head over to the closest low sec I could find, Oulley. I figure that the best way to get into a fight is to just sit still like the young n00b I am and wait for some big mean pirate bully to come and blow my Thorax up. I warped out to one of the belts and just as I finished with the last rat, a lone Rifter warped in almost right on top of me. I was in the process of locking but he aggroed first, so I threw my hammerhead II's at him and opened up my guns up as wide as they could go. When his armor was at 50% I looked at my own shields and armor and they weren't even touched! This can't be right, why haven't I taken any damage? I quickly looked over my entire screen to see what he was shooting at when I noticed I only had 2 Hammerheads left! Queue the facepalm and the lesson learned, so I pull them back in so he drops target on them. But the poor bastards didn't get to see the explosion as the Rifter popped and left me a little basket of goodies. I tried to snag and ransom his pod but my underdeveloped targeting skills could not lock on fast enough. I offered him a good fight in local, which he quietly returned before leaving system. The things he left for me were nothing special, but enough to pay for some new drones.
I replayed the explosion in my head a few times, but soon the adrenaline subsided and the pangs of my starved ADD wanted me to go back out there and make some more ships go boom. So I went to the nearby system Maut to see if I could find another person to shoot at. It didn't take long for my sit and wait strategy to bring me another opponent, this time a Vexor. Now I do not claim to be an expert on builds or setups, but I am pretty sure the tank on a Vexor should have outlasted mine. But once my drones and blasters started up, his sheilds and armor seemed to fall off and run away. He had to have been stabbed as well because he was able to warp away and left me with nothing left to do but offer a "gf :-(" in local, which he didn't return. Since I cannot probe and I didn't see where he might have warped to, I let him go and moved on to another belt.
I was in the process of looting the rats I killed when another Rifter warped in to the belt. Since I felt cheated out of a Vexor kill, I figured a Rifter boom could satisfy me. I didn't waste any time sending my drones after him and tackling him. He took much longer to kill than the first Rifter and thankfully he didn't go after my drones. Even so, the guy never got my armor past 75% so I had another goodie bag to pick from and another pod to try to ransom. Too bad he got away too. We exchanged gf in local and I headed back to base to drop off all the stuff I picked up.
I decided to head back out to Maut to try and see if I could snag another kill. I think maybe this whole killing other players thing could become an addiction as I was craving to make another ship explode. This was all that ran through my mind while jumping into the system so I didnt notice the big Myrmidon chilling there exactly 15 km away from me. I began to align to get out of there and head to a belt, but the guy locked and tackled me faster than campus security tackling a dirty hippie. So I turned right back around and high tailed it to the gate as fast as my afterburners could take me (yeah, I still cant do MWDs yet) and luckily I jumped through right as he was cutting into my structure.
I decided to call it a night after that while I still had a ship to speak of. I would say it wasn't a bad night for my first ever pvp outing. I learned a lot about fighting other players and recognized areas where i could improve upon. Maybe the kills I got were lucky and I am not truly ready to go out and fight people. All I know is that I want to become a pirate and I want to keep this killing business going as long as I possibly can. This business is just too much fun to want to do anything else.
There was always the burning curiosity for new pilots to explore the low security systems. We didn't know about the prevalence of piracy in low security, we simply knew that there were "bad" people out there, so it came as something of a surprise when one of our members' brutix was being attacked while hunting guristas. Naturally, we were all enraged, but still timid to the thought of engaging another capsuleer, one who probably knew more about what he was doing than we did. I hopped into my brand new, and poorly fitted Moa, Vlad in his caracal, and Drake in his bellicose; we tore space heading over there, just in time to see the our corpmate's pod approaching the gate back to inoue. We went to the belt where it happened, not knowing what we wanted, but definitely finding out what we didn't.
We arrived to see a rupture floating about, it's pilot, Sinickal, wasted no time in showing us what she was there for and proceeded to lock onto Drake and engage with great fervor, the kind only seen by people who really enjoy what they do (I only experienced this later). Drake, like us, had no idea how to fit a ship effectively for any purpose, we all went for the fabled "MacGuyver" fit that so many new pilots choose to go with; his bellicose didn't last long, all the while we were firing everything we had at this pirate, this person of low moral fiber. Next one on the spit was Vlad, he was the first member of our corp to have a cruiser, it's a pity that it had to go without a single kill under it's belt.
I really don't need to put very much detail into the combat because if you're reading this, you can probably imagine more or less what happened. All I need to point out is that at that time, warp core stabilizers had no penalties that would deter even a new pilot like myself from fitting them, and it saved my moa. Saved it so I could warp off, defeated. I felt demoralized, I was a director, we had just recruited a new pilot not more than an hour prior, and we got sent running with our tails between our legs. After the obligatory, "We're going to keep coming back until you're dead" type of conversation that almost always happens when young capsuleers get their first taste of combat was over, we took to decreeing that Erila was off limits for our corp, we even took such a stance as to tell our people that they shouldn't shoot each other because it wasn't good comradery. Eventually, I learned to respect what Sinickal did to us that day; she inspired me to learn more about fighting, that's for certain, but she also made such an impact as to be the first big step to being the pilot I am today. Also, yarr.
Fly Safe kids,
Cleared for publication by: Ander