As i'm moving the bit of stuff I still have in Bosboger over to Hek, I make a quick stop in Olfeim in my Ranis. Haven't been here in ages. Sure enough, it is the same sleepy system it always used to be. A deadend lowsec with only one entrance from a 0.5, it used to be playground for noob ratters and pirates alike. It's more than quiet tonight, and the tranquility carries over to me.
Bored, I warp around for a quick scan. I don't feel like engaging anything, having my cargohold full of the shiny faction stuffs i'm hauling. The faint "ping" of my scanner barely wakes me, and like in a trance I turn the dials and knobs. My tiny 'ceptor seems to move by itself, sleepwarping in on the Scythe Fleet Issue in belt 1-1.
The pilot, short of a year old, is oblivious to my presence. I'm not too excited either, having just NPC'd my security status back up to -1.94, being barely legal in 1.0 systems again. I hate missions. Mindless and boring, almost as bad as... wait-- Getting closer, I notice a distinct glow emerging from his ship. Mining lasers! As my ship eases into a 500m orbit around his, I almost bump into the little dronies zipping about between the Scythe and a nearby 'roid. A closer look reveals them to be Harvesters, the holy grail of mining directors.
I must be dreaming. Is this some kind of set up, deliberately staged to rob me of my precious secstat? It just looks too good to be true. It dawns on me this young pilot might not have noticed that he has left the safe haven one stargate over, and is no longer under CONCORD protection. Slightly amused, I do the logical thing: I flip his can!
The ore muncher gives me an unexpected reaction. Not only does he keep mining, he reaffirms his generous altruism in local chat:
Vector 8 > you're welcome
Seems there's a mining party, and i'm invited. Coming to my senses, I strike up a convo.
Vector 8 > Howdy M8
Xonja 2zero > so, what are you up to?
Vector 8 > Im mining so that I can pay the 50 mil to join ur corp
Xonja 2zero > really
Vector 8 > yup
Xonja 2zero > that's kinda cute
Right. Cute in a very special way. What's he on? Joining our corp? I have no idea who he is, or since when we require 50m to join. Much less accept miners. I'm pissed off. Stupid roid humper got bonked on the head by a few too many rocks, thinks we're a mining corporation? This cannot be tolerated. His icon in my overview has changed to a dollar sign. However, I play along, holding back, drawing out this moment of tranquility. I want him to feel his stupidity, all the passed chances of running away as long as he still could.
Xonja 2zero > so that's done
Vector 8 > hehe....ty
Vector 8 > luv killin rats
A couple other chat windows pop up, and while I tell people to get back to me later I miss the mining Scythe picking up speed... and warping out. To station. Escaped. ARRRGH!!! Convinced now that the pilot is a noob, I figure he might still have noticed his mistake and ran to never come back. Staying in character as the friendly hisec ore thief, I keep up the chit chat.
Xonja 2zero > i don't mind
Vector 8 > that's ok m8....It wasnt that much and there's alot to go around....gotta keep on friendly terms with my new corp m8's
Xonja 2zero > how do you mean?
Vector 8 > keep the loot
Xonja 2zero > oh, ok :)
Is he playing with me? I'm puzzled, as endlessly long minutes pass. I'm hammering the scanner, and finally, there is his Scythe again. Moments later, he's back in belt. Refitted? Expecting a barrage of projectiles and missiles hitting my hull any second now, i'm almost speechless as he turns his mining lasers back on.
Xonja 2zero > did you?
Vector 8 > what?
Xonja 2zero > you didn't
Xonja 2zero > you're in lowsec
Xonja 2zero > wanna keep your ship?
As I say this, I get to work. Describing his duo of Tech 1 Hammerhead and Acolyte drones as underwhelming would be giving them grossly too much credit, but I kill them off anyway, going for a ransom.
Vector 8 > I know that
Xonja 2zero > make me an offer then
Vector 8 > im in low sec
Vector 8 > I can only spare 10 mil
Xonja 2zero > well, you could spare your ship then
Vector 8 > common.....Im joining your corp after all
Xonja 2zero > doesn't look like it
While we chat, two rifters warp in. They're noobs, but go for my itsy red-flashy ceptor without a second thought. Not their lucky day. Just as I vaporize them, Mr. Mining Fleetscythe takes his chance for a bold maneuver: he ejects to save his pod! Without his skills holding it together, structure melts down to a little square, my drones still whacking on it. Phew, called back just in time :o
Quickly, I park the ranis at a safespot and go back in pod to pick up my catch. Expecting a lackluster mining setup worth selling for around 50m total, i'm speechless as I find this:
Over 500m worth all together it seems. I'd have settled with a 30 to 40 mil ransom. Silently, I fly my new Fleet Scythe back to Hek, a question burning in my head:
So.... ahem. Anyone want to buy a Fleet Scythe with a T2 Purger?
TunMarr - #1 - 2009-04-15 17:15 -
Wow, just wow.
TunMarr - #2 - 2009-04-15 17:17 -
Come to think of it, I have seen this guy floating round Hek.
Hell, I would of suicided him if I had know this
Oh. My. God.
Mining in lowsec, solo. In THAT.
The guy is simply too stupid to live. Hell, I'd have been tempted to gank him myself, on sheer principle, and I'm certainly no pirate. (Though it's more likely I'd have just told him over private chat, "WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT are you thinking??? ARE you thinking???")
If he can afford all the fancy T2 and faction gear, surely he can afford a friend with something heavy to ride shotgun as he mines? (Come to think of it, why didn't he fit a Miner II instead of the named T1 mining laser? This ain't rocket science, people...well, okay, maybe it is, but you know what I mean...)
tl;dr summary: FAIL.
Syringe - #4 - 2009-04-16 00:27 -
Good read mate. Would be happy to hear more stories in the future.
Harrig Dak - #5 - 2009-04-16 00:46 -
lol. Stupidest ship setup ever.
Oregin - #6 - 2009-04-16 20:19 -
Good read thanks, hang up your high-sec hat and go find some more material ... and total fail.